A Tale of Obsession: How I Started Roleplaying

So, this will probably be a rather long-winded story, but I know that it will be fun for me to write. Hopefully it will be fun for you to read. I got the idea to write this from a couple of blog articles I read recently that were discussing how a couple of independent game designers were trying to sell their horror-themed RPGs at a horror genre convention. Their efforts met mostly with failure. The subsequent discussion on their blog went on to talk about how hard it is to get an RPG into the hands of a non-gamer, or a non-roleplayer. One of the points of their discussion was basically this: If you saw a book in your local bookstore that said on the cover “Star Wars Roleplaying Game” – or “[anything] Roleplaying Game” – and you had never played an RPG, or seen one played, what are the chances that you would buy that book and play the game? Probably zero. You might even wonder, ‘How is this book a game?’ This got me to thinking: ‘How did I ever get into RPGs myself?’

This is how complex our LEGO games could get.

It all started when I was very young. When my siblings (especially my two sisters) and I played games, it was never a simple affair. When we played with LEGOs, we didn’t just build spaceships and run through the house with them making spaceship noises. The first thing we were concerned with was creating our characters. The starfighter pilot wasn’t just a faceless mook. He was Ted Silverton, hero of the Rebel Consortium and heir to the dynasty of a lost planet. At the end of the day, we didn’t pack up our toys and call it quits. No, we left everything in its place so that we could continue our exciting plots and intricate scenarios the next day. Our games could go on for a month or more. We each had multiple characters, who were often considerably well developed considering our age and limited experience. And the settings for our games could be quite complex, with alien societies, intergalactic politics, and alternate dimensions. (I’m only imagining that other kids our age didn’t play this way, but I would love to hear that I’m wrong.)

When we played, we would take turns “having something happen”. When one of us was “having something happen”, that meant it was our turn to introduce a new scenario and narrate how it unfolds. When it was not your turn, you had little power to influence the outcome of the current events. For example, if my sister had aliens invade, capture our heroes, and take them into slavery – I couldn’t, for example, say that Cyrus tackles the nearest alien, gets control of his blaster, and takes over the alien ship. Well, I could say that he attempted that, but I couldn’t expect it to meet with success. Because it was my sister’s turn to “have something happen”, she would no doubt narrate how the aliens respond with overwhelming force and subdue the prisoners once again. I remember this being a little bit frustrating at times, but when it was our turn to “have something happen” we had the same power, so it wasn’t really unfair. When you were in control, it usually meant it was time for your heroes to shine, but I do remember us making an effort to get everyone’s characters involved to some degree or another. Also, we couldn’t do anything too dramatic to someone else’s character, like kill them off. Though we would sometimes create opportunities for such a dramatic development, it was always the other player’s choice to take that path or not. Sometimes things would develop naturally as well. There were usually short periods of downtime between players taking their turns “having something happen”, and we would use those periods to casually roleplay general interactions between our characters. I remember that, during the course of one game, my main hero – Cyrus (a sort of scientist/feudal knight) – and one of my sister’s characters – Catseye (an alien girl) – fell in love and got married. The whole story developed very organically and was a pretty cool experience in collaborative storytelling. Now, throughout all of this, I don’t think any of us ever thought of this as roleplaying. As we got older, my sisters got closer and began excluding me from their games. So I left this sort of roleplaying and eventually turned to…

Following these 16-bit story lines was so much fun!

Video game RPGs! Final Fantasy VI (initially released as Final Fantasy III in the USA) was the first video game RPG I played. I was enthralled by the story and the characters. The idea of a video game that was about more than jumping on Koopas, advancing to the next level, and rescuing the princess was just incredibly novel and fascinating to me. I loved that the game had mystery, tragedy, romance and plot twists. I loved the characters, too – and the fact that they developed throughout the course of the game. Later, I played Chrono Trigger, which added something new in that choices that the player made could result in different endings. This gave the me an unprecedented sense of control for a video game. Later, I was exposed to the first largely popular massively multiplayer online RPG, Ultima Online. While I never actually played that game, I remember spending hours watching my older brother play it. I was captivated by the freedom that players had to roam about, to pursue whatever quests they chose, and to customize their character’s abilities and appearance to their own tastes. I also thought it was cool that some players did actual roleplaying in this game – acting and speaking in character – even having their character marry another character in an online ceremony. Players could earn titles and estates, form guilds and adventuring parties. As a kid, I hoped to get into this type of gaming when I was older (and could afford a monthly subscription), but I never really imagined that I would get into…

Tabletop/pen-and-paper RPGs. Dungeons & Dragons – When I was a kid, I remember hearing it mentioned briefly at some point. I remember being confused about what kind of game it was and how you played it. I think I was visualizing something like a board game, which actually wasn’t too far off. I remember stumbling upon the Player’s Handbook for 3rd edition D&D in a bookstore and flipping through it. I don’t think I really understood how the game worked, but I remember flipping through the chapter on classes and thinking something like: ‘Hmm… I could be a ranger, or a paladin, or a rogue… This looks neat.’ But that’s about all the further I got. When I had heard D&D mentioned before, there always seemed to be a lot of stigma against it, so I didn’t think my parents would be keen on me buying the book. I don’t know why, but at the time it didn’t occur to me that there might be other p&p RPGs out there. I still had only vague ideas as to how the game was played, but I was intrigued. And then…

I remember seeing the Star Wars Roleplaying Game advertised in a Star Wars Insider magazine. It was this exotic and mysterious thing like D&D, but it was Star Wars. I had to have it. I remember saving up for it, and finally buying it while my parents, my sisters, my little brother, and I were living away from home in Maryland for three months. I remember reading through the introduction, which had a written example of what play might look like in practice. When I read that, I thought: ‘Cool, so that’s how this works!’ I also remember thinking this was a lot like the games that my sisters and I would play when we were really young, except with some rules to help determine how things played out.

Then I got to the part in the introduction where it talked about what else you would need to play – character sheets, pencils, and dice – specifically d4s, d8s, d10s, d12s, and d20s. I remember being like: ‘Whoa! Do they even make dice like that? Where can I find them?’ I checked at Toys ‘R’ Us, because it was the only place I knew of nearby that might even possibly have something like that. An employee asked me if he could help me find anything.

What are these weird dice!?

I was like, “I’m looking for dice.”

So he showed me what they had – only d6s.

“No, I need different sized dice.” I felt so stupid saying it. A day before I had no idea there was any such thing as a die that had more, or less, than six sides. I imagined this guy would look at me like I had two heads.

“You mean, like for D&D?” He asked. I felt relieved. He explained that they didn’t carry those, but maybe I ought to try a comic shop. I had no idea where a comic shop might be in the area, but I ended up finding a site online that sold them. I ordered a couple of sets of dice, and waited eagerly for them to arrive. I was so excited when they did. I remember being intrigued by their shapes. It was so cool!

While waiting for my dice to arrive I absorbed the rulebook. It felt somewhat complicated, but not too daunting. I helped my younger siblings create characters, and once I had my dice we were ready to play. We only played a few sessions, as I can recall, but I had a lot of fun with it. I remember wishing we could play more, but for some reason it was hard to maintain my siblings’ interest. I don’t remember how I was as a GM back then – probably not so good. Over the next few years, we played again on a few occasions. I remember, specifically, playing the Star Wars roleplaying game on at least one other occasion with my younger brother. We used Star Wars LEGOs for the combat, and we kept the campaign going for a few sessions at least.

It wouldn’t be until a few years later, when I was living in Pennsylvania as a young adult, that I finally found myself in the company of five other guys whom I was able to convince to try RPGs. We played a Star Wars campaign that lasted at least a couple of months of weekly sessions. Then we started up a superheroes RPG that lasted maybe a half-dozen sessions, before I moved back to Florida.

After my move, my brother and I did a couple of short-lived solo campaigns – once with him as GM, and once with me. It wasn’t too long before I got some of my siblings and a few other friends to form a RPG group. We had a Serenity Roleplaying Game campaign that lasted a few months. Then we played an RPG that my brother created himself. Eventually that group fell apart for various reasons. For a while I was worried that my RPG days may be at an end, but I’ve managed to introduce the hobby to some more friends, and once again I’ve got a regular Star Wars campaign going.

My experiences with RPGs have been quite varied over the years. At first, I was playing a form of RPG without even realizing it. Then there was that exciting revelation when I first picked up the Star Wars RPG. There have been times when I just couldn’t seem to get a game going with anyone. Honestly, there were times when I was too shy about the hobby to ask anyone but my siblings to play. Now, here I am blogging about my obsession and designing my own RPGs. I’ve got to say, this is one of my favorite hobbies, and I hope I can keep playing for some time to come. And thanks to everyone that has shared this hobby with me!

Do you play RPGs? How did you get into the hobby? I would love to hear your story!